This is not who I am.
I am fighting against the current.
Waves crashing against my brain –
Splashing all of my thoughts around
my lungs filling up with wine and Instagram filters.
I am screaming.
I am thrashing.
I am begging for connection.
I am holding my hand out in a world that is repulsed by touch.
Sanitize my words.
Ignore my cries for help.
I’ll post another TikTok and wait for a comment – a slight high from a glance. I am not invisible. I am seen.
Only when I make a fool, it seems.
Nobody loves a fool.
Up go the walls. Brick by brick. (You’re) safe (from me) again.
